Story Review: How to Manage Interpersonal Relationships

The letter is an all-amorous ritual, a private exchange where the two interlocutors can be themselves without fear of being judged. To eternal lovers who believe they are not understood enough by the rest of the world, Letters by Paul Tick is a story about interpersonal relationships drafted in the most beautiful love letters from a couple. So, if you, too sometimes, in an entirely passé act, have found yourself taking a pen and paper and starting to write, know that you were not alone and how to maintain and improve interpersonal relationships like Alan and Elizabeth from Letters. 

Paul Tick’s “Letters” acknowledges that love was an old-fashioned feeling, especially in intellectual circles. So what is this ‘devaluation’ from which love suffers today? Love-passion is not ‘welcome’; it is considered a syndrome that must be cured. It is not attributed, as in the past, to a power of enrichment. How to manage interpersonal relationships like Alan and Elizabeth? Let’s delve in!

How to mend interpersonal relationships 

Interpersonal relationships are not laid-back, but neither are they usually as difficult as we think amid conflict. Some fail to interact appropriately with others due to inhibition. On the other hand, others bear the imprint of the conflict in their story, perhaps due to a family background with no good relations. This causes them to be born and remains in controversies that lead to mistrust and apprehension.

You are not born with the ability or inability to establish good personal relationships. There are indeed some genetic predispositions that make you more or less extroverted and more or less sociable. However, this is not decisive. Interacting correctly with others is wisdom, like Alan and Elizabeth in Letters. This requires the development of some skills that are available to everyone. Some tricks make learning easier. They are small tips, straightforward to apply, and effective in improving interpersonal relationships. We will tell you about them soon.

Train your listening skills.

Listening activity is not limited, or should not be limited, to keeping quiet while the other speaks. It goes further: it means paying attention to the content and the form of the message that the other is trying to convey to us. It is not about staying still but about going part of the way to meet what the other says, suggests, or insinuates. Nor is it about gagging our internal dialogue but deriving it from what the other tells us.

To develop listening skills, nothing better than listening. Now, how? Try to stay silent, just trying to catch what they are saying. At first, you will have to make a conscious effort so that your attention does not escape; however, once you’ve got the hang of it, the temptation to spread out won’t be as significant.

Practice empathy

We love how Alan and Elizabeth illustrate dynamic listening and empathy in Letters. Focusing our attention on the message they are trying to convey opens up a possibility: understanding it from the other’s context and not from our own. That is precisely what empathy is: being able to put yourself in the shoes of others. Thus, empathy requires more of an open attitude than a critical attitude. Each one is as he is and does what he does for reasons that often escape us. By what right are we going to question them? In this sense, we lose a lot when we fail to establish empathy. We lose learning, the broadening of experiences, and the opportunity to improve our interpersonal relationships.

Trust what you do and say

A confident attitude builds trust in others. The opposite also happens. When someone is doubtful or insecure, it creates a defensive response in those next to them. It is relatively easy to practice trust. Give the person you are a chance, without forgetting that within the person you are is implicit the person you would like to become.

Fear is one of the emotions that can strain communication the most, being, thus, and in specific contexts, an obstacle to interpersonal relationships. On many occasions, to get away from its influence, it only takes a little training. To do this, avoid pauses predominating in your communication and seek more conversation than speech or monologue.

You don’t need to become talkative, witty, or funny. You have to rescue a point of naturalness for communication. In this sense, a speech that is too measured can be interpreted by the people who listen to it as an attempt on your part to hide something; when the only thing you are trying to hide is that you are afraid to show yourself as you are. Because?

Learn to manage anger.

Managing anger, like managing any other emotion, is also learned. There is a golden rule that can help us in moments of anger. If you’re upset, you only have to do three things first: say nothing, do nothing, and stay still. It’s that simple. Anger is hardly going to facilitate the resolution of the conflict.

Here, as in other cases, it is only a matter of training. This attitude is learned by repetition. Wait for some of the energy that carries the emotion to disperse, enough to convey the message in the way and manner that is best for you and the relationship. At the same time, you will obtain a statement of self-control and show respect for yourself and others.

Interpersonal relationships deteriorate, to a large extent, due to poor anger management. When it takes over us, we show our worst face and can become cruel. Especially with the people we love because they are also the people we know, the places where it hurts the most. 

Everything (or most) is in the details.

A series of attitudes or small details significantly increase the quality of interpersonal relationships, as we witness in Letters by Paul Tick. There are simple gestures that speak of nobility and good disposition to others. Incorporating them into your natural way of being is a good idea. Some of these gestures are: Pamper with sincere compliments to each other. In this sense, we have a little habit of sharing the good things we think of others. It is always a source of satisfaction.

Call people by name.

The importance of a problem is decided by the person it affects. During an argument, let the other person know that you value their point of view and that you want to understand them. Show your interest in what the other thinks or feels. Don’t try to change anyone’s mind.

Good interpersonal relationships are the fruit of effort. 

Although some people come into the world better equipped to interact with others easily, we all have something to learn. This is particularly valid when we have had a long history of difficulties communicating with each other, and our list of open conflicts is very long.

If you increase the quality of your interpersonal relationships, your whole life will be enriched. This, in turn, will increase your self-confidence and overall sense of well-being. When interactions with others are constructive, we feel more motivated and happier.

Smile, always smile

To say that a smile opens many doors is a cliché. However, forgotten and true! A smile breaks down barriers, builds an emotional climate of kindness, and helps reduce tension. Plus, it’s free.

As motivation, a smile is a sign of peace and acceptance: a kind gesture that cooks good communication. It is a gesture that breaks the ice and invites trust. To elevate interpersonal relationships, start each new meeting with a smile. In Letters, you will discover it!